liquid jet black eye liner and onions don't mix

I have very sensitive eyes which is why I try to avoid the people at the make up counter from giving me a "free" makeover because my eyes start to water incessantly the minute they start putting on the eye shadow. They also always put on too much make up and I walk away looking like a Bangkok hooker and $100 charged up on my credit card on bright blue eye shadow. I am a marketer's dream.

I recently bought Benefit's Magic Ink Jet Black Liquid Liner and I can't say I love it. It turns out you have to have the hands of a surgeon to put on the liner otherwise you end up looking like you put it on in a moving car.

If you have sensitive eyes like me I don't recommend this liner especially if you are going to cut onions because it results in this...

 I cry a lot every single time I have to cut an onion, which is why I've decided to buy this...

Onion goggles (in pink) which are suppose to prevent me from crying. I have a friend who bought a pair a while ago and I laughed at her but perhaps she's laughing at me now. I am desperate and willing to spend $19.99. I'll let you know if they actually work.

On the 11th and 12th Days... 12 Holiday Beers

Both beers from one of my favorite local pubs, Rubicon. 

This is one of their special beers called the 1850 London Porter. Perfect for a cold day.

I love this red head. Rubicon's Irish Red which is one of their seasonal beers.

I have to admit for the first time... ever... I am so relieved Christmas is just about over. I enjoy Christmas and the holidays but the holidays are also very very exhausting. 

I hosted Christmas in my apartment this year and I almost had a panic attack that all 15 of us weren't going to fit but it all worked out well. I turned my desk into an appetizer table and brought in extra chairs and amazingly we all had a seat. 

Merry Christmas! Enjoy this rendition of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas sung by that famous old hippy.

brown-skinned and dry-skinned

I'm probably the last person to be giving any sort of skin/beauty advice considering that ever since I turned 25, my chin has become the hot bed for giant zits and they like to come out and party all at once. I also have extremely dry skin on my face especially near my hair line. Mindy Kaling (Kelly from the Office) once wrote about having dry skin and she said that brown people typically have drier skin than white people. I believe her because she's famous and she wrote it on the Internet. I'm brown and I have dry skin so I want to share this product with other dry skinned people. 

CVS' Vitamin E Moisturizing Skin Cream is the only cream that has worked for me. This stuff is very thick and super dense. A little goes a long way. 

I recommend using the cream at night after your daily skin regimen. You'll wake up with a moist face.. no dry skin flaking off like you've just gotten over a really bad sunburn.

On the 9th and 10th days... 12 Holiday Beers

Life and Limb. So good, so strong. This beer is an east coast-west coast collaboration (kind of like a Biggie and Tupac collabo). Two of the most popular brewers in the country, Dogfish Head (from Maryland) and Sierra Nevada (from California) got together made Life and Limb. This is a good winter beer. It's dark, malty with a sweet finish.

Moylan's Hopsicle

I don't remember what this tasted like. I may have already consumed one too many at this point. This is not a seasonal beer.

It's almost Christmas time and after is when the diet begins. Cheers.

reflections: letter to my younger self

You've probably heard of the book or column called Letters to My Younger Self and this is what I'd write to myself at the age of 11.

Dear Sarah,

Go easy on the ice cream and potato chips because you'll get fat and will have to count calories when you're in your late 20's and you won't be able to run a mile without feeling like you would rather slit your wrists than keep running.

Also, when you reach high school don't tell that 10th grader you have a crush on him because he didn't know you existed until you told him how you felt and he's not into you. For the rest of the year things will be very awkward between the two of you. It's better to be left wondering because then you will spend three years trying to avoid him in the hallways and even now avoiding him on Facebook.

One more thing. Make sure your first concert experience is one you can be proud of. You don't want to have to tell the story that the first concert you attended was that of the short-lived boy band called 3T that was made up of Michael Jacksons' nephews  (Tito's kids).


Much love,
Sarah

I think those are the only things I would tell my younger self because I don't really like to live in regret,  not even the heavy lipliner with no lipstick phase I went through in junior high.

On the 8th day... 12 Holiday Beers

Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale (I don't know if it is a black IPA or a porter, but it is good)
Stone Brewery

This is what I am drinking while I watch Dexter (still on season 5). I can't watch Dexter without dreaming about it. Two nights ago I had a dream that I was looking for a rapist to bring to justice and wake up with an uneasy feeling sometimes the feeling is more extreme like the feeling of impending doom.

If you ever pick up a bottle from Stone make sure to read the back of the bottle because the stories are so cleverly written.

"When you're good, you're good. And when you do something great , the least you can do is acknowledge it. Others benefit from knowing."  

-Excerpt from the back of a Sublimely Self-Righteous bottle

what i wore, bought, ate and drank

I had this brilliant dumb idea that I would start a new blog on tumblr. This blog would be called What I wore, bought, ate and drank. This blog would be dedicated to my favorite hobbies; clothes, shopping, food and drinking beer. The concept of the blog would be a little more focused unlike this blog where I post about food, angry rants and the occasional self-loathing rant. I managed to publish one post on tumblr which took several attempts. I tried to do another post and I have decided I cannot continue to use tumblr because my posts won't get published for some strange reason. I suspect tumblr is being overloaded by teenagers reposting videos of cats doing human things (like playing the piano or pooping in public) or guys getting hit in the groin.

Instead, I will just continue to manage one blog (which is much easier anyway) and create a new tag titled What I wore, bought, ate and drank (which I will refer to in real life as W.I.W.B.A.A.D because it is so much easier to say 7 letters out loud instead of saying one short sentence).

What I wore:

Blush Burgundy loose top, Target tanktop under the blouse, H&M pleated shorts, Zara boots.

The best part about these shorts is that they don't ride up your crotch, therefore, you avoid camel toe. I liked these shorts so much I bought three pairs and I stood in line at H&M for 45 minutes which is something I don't normally do and will never do again. Never.

What I bought:
A Honeywell space heater and a carbon monoxide detector. I have this dilemma: I turn on my heater but I don't feel like it is pumping out warm air. I haven't set the thermostat to high because I am afraid of a very expensive bill, so, I have spent the last two nights sleepless and shivering under the blanket. Also, as of today I am a little more convinced that my heater might be broken so it is just pumping out carbon monoxide slowly poisoning my brain.

What I ate: 

Split Pea soup made from a bag of dry soup ingredients from Sierra Soups. It was comforting, delicious, and super healthy. I should add that not photographed is a giant bag of chips. When if there is a book written about me, there will be an entire chapter dedicated to my love and addiction to potato chips. Someone once told me there are worst things I could be addicted to like heroin. Chips would still kill me slowly and painfully via heart disease but heroin can kill me in an instant. So, it's a toss up. 

And you already know what I drank.

On the 7th day... (I quit) 12 Holiday Beers

I stopped by BevMo today only to be disappointed by their poor selection of holiday or seasonal beers. I didn't want to spend more than eight dollars a bottle so I walked away with a non-seasonal beer.
I really hate not finishing things so I'll post up to 12 beers some holiday and some not depending on the day.

New Belgium's Ranger (IPA)

I used to drink a lot of New Belgium Fat Tire and I still like that beer. A lot of people refer to New Belgium Brewery as the brewery that makes "chick beer" and perhaps it is because the founder and CEO is a woman. I personally do not like to genderize things (like calling cars "she") but this New Belgium beer's got some cajones. It's pretty hoppy.

The (Impossible) Christmas Wish List

I called this wish list impossible not because I picked out items from the 2011 Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog where the items range from a $25 paper weight to a $1 million dancing fountain that can be installed in your home. Rich people are silly. This is a wish list of “things” I want that can’t actually be bought or given to you. Have you ever tried to come up with a list of jobs you wish you had that weren’t actually jobs but would be awesome if you got paid for it? This is kind of like that.


1.) Never get a traffic violation or a ticket.

2.) Have all my meals prepared for me.

3.) To never be too cold or too hot.

4.) To sleep in every morning.

5.) To be able to jog in stilettos.

6.) To eat or drink whatever I want without gaining a pound or degrading my health.

7.) To punch someone in the face (this will always be on my list of any sort).

8.) To never run out of things to watch.

9.) To never run out of things to wear.

10.) Have all of my debt erased (credit cards, car, student loans).



I guess this list isn’t impossible after all… I just need to be filthy rich or be a drag queen.

What's on your (impossible) Christmas wish list?

Photo is for added Christmas-spirit effect. They are ginger bread people I decorated as Occupy protestors.

cookies

As someone recently told me, I am obsessed with taking photos. Here are some iPhone snapshots (I can see you rolling your eyes) from a Cookie Decorating Party I attended. Few people have heard of cookie decorating or cookie exchange parties. I was only introduced to this estrogen and sugar filled event two years ago.

On the sixth day... 12 Holiday Beers and Brussels Sprouts

I've reduced the number to 12 because there is no way I can do 25 otherwise I will never get anything done at home because I would be drunk and asleep by 8 p.m. every night (and I already do that at least once a week).

Grizzly Brown Ale by Snowshoe Brewing Company

Not too malty, I can taste the hops. I like it.

For dinner I microwaved Brussels Sprouts. I know that sounds unappetizing but I feel like I need to make up for the way I have been eating lately (tons of pizza, bags and bags of potato chips to name a few) and for the first time in a really long time I have heartburn.

The Brussels Sprouts I cut in half, doused with Bragg's Liquid Amminos (which is like a better tasting soy sauce), Garlic Pepper Seasoning and Slat. I microwaved for about 3-5 minutes, the first 3 minutes with a wet paper towel over the sprouts. I enjoyed them, but I really like brussels sprouts. I am sure this would also be good with butter and bacon bits.

dubstep

A couple of weeks ago, I finally learned what Dubstep is all about. Apparently, dubstep is a whole new genre of music. The most prominent "dubstepper" (if that is what they are called) is some guy named Skrillex.

From what I gather, dubsteppers takes other people's music, remix them turn them techno/dance so it sounds like you've been listening to the same song for 5 hours when you've actually listened to 10. You could argue that dubstep is a lot like rap where artists sample songs, but in dubstep, the dubstepper does not actually sing or rap. I would compare dubstep to more like DJ-ing, but fake DJ where you use a lap top. Remember the days when DJs used to actually use vinyl and turntables? Anyway, I will let you make a decision about dubstep yourself.

Did you listen to the whole thing? Are your ears bleeding? Mine too.

Maybe I am finally getting too old but for me, music is something that invokes an emotion (one typically that makes me want to keep listening), something I can listen to while I'm driving, dancing, cleaning or just sitting in the dark. This song makes me want to hurt someone, in a bad way.

I should probably just accept dubstep because soon enough, every radio station will play Skrillex every 10 minutes. It's inevitable, like having to wear Spanx and eventually having to wear Life Alert.

On the fifth day... 12 Holiday Beers

Anchor Steam Brewing's 2011 Holiday beer.
I didn't actually drink it tonight because my stomach isn't feeling too good. I just ate an entire box of Mary's Gone Crackers. I guess I don't feel as guilty about eating these crackers because they are oil free, dairy free and are made of whole grains. I know that sounds terrible and that you'd rather eat cardboard but they are tasty and very addicting.

That mulled cider scented candle smells like Christmas.

I'm only on my 5th Holiday beer and it's already Dec. 8th. Maybe on a night my stomach is feeling better I'll do 5 days worth of beers in one night.

On the Fourth Day... 12 Holiday Beers

I got this beer at Cost Plus (World Market) today and I was disappointed I didn't shop as long as I did because I had to go to the bathroom (sorry guys!) so I cut my shopping time and went home. This is what I managed to grab from the beer section.

Bad Elf Winter's Ale
Ridgeway Brewing UK

I didn't realize I had already gotten a Ridgeway Brewing Christmas Beer (Warm Welcome) and I remember thinking that one was just ok and so is this.

I had kind of an annoying day and what's more annoying is not being able to take my time to shop.

Now I need to figure out how to fit 15 people into my apartment for Christmas dinner, which I am apparently hosting this year. Maybe I will make it "Japanese" theme so people sit on the ground.

Blogs are self-centered and so am I - Thanksgiving Holiday

Having a blog is incredibly self-centered. We bloggers assume people care about what we are doing and our opinions. I am self-centered and what better way to showcase that self-centerdness than in gratuitous photos of myself (GPOY a.k.a Gratuitous Photos of Yourself. I learned this acronym from other self-centered bloggers). These are snapshots from the Thanksgiving holiday taken with all the fun phone photo apps.

Thanksgiving Appetite Enhancement Bike Ride

I put up my Christmas tree

I treated myself to a poor-man's home spa which consists of a cheap leave in mask for a facial and a janky manicure.

The following are images from my closet/dressing room/spare bedroom. I maintain that turning my spare bedroom into a closet was genius.

The Scarf Collection

The winter shoe collection. I am not much of a shoe person. I hate wearing stilettos or heels that are too high. I wish I liked wearing more  sexy hooker shoes but I don't like my feet to hurt. Plus I can't run away from attackers or after a food truck if I am in stilettos. Message to men, women who say heels are more comfortable (and I've heard this) are totally full of sh*t.

Left to Right: Boutique 9, Zara ankle boots, Steve Madden cowboy boots, Indigo booties and Old navy wedge booties. I really want a pair of motorcycle boots.

My favorite Fall/Winter Flats

Gassing up

Siri (not to be confused with Suri, the child of Tom and Katie Cruise, although Suri might be able to do some of the things Siri can do)

I recently upgraded to an iPhone 4S. Initially, I questioned my decision to get the more expensive 4S rather than the cheaper iPhone 4 because the only big difference to me was Siri, the personal assistant robot built into the 4S. I didn't think I'd ever use Siri, but I tested her* out this weekend.


Here's some of what I asked Siri.


Siri will be your designated driver...

Siri will be your Charlie Sheen and help you have a good time...

Siri will even be your accomplice...

But Siri will not be your friend. Ouch.

Siri is cold.

*I am going to refer to Siri as a she even she has told me she has no gender, although she has female voice.

On the third day... 12 Holiday Beers

Port Brewing's Santa's Little Helper.
Imperial Stout
Delicious
10% alc. so this is guaranteed to give you a good time, or at least make everyone else in the room look ten times better so you shamelessly hit on every single person.

Cheers.