Brownie Heart Cupcakes for the first boy I ever kissed

I've decided to jazz up my posts by sharing a little something about myself. I'm sorry to say that you will find just how ordinary -- even dull -- my life is. These brownie cupcakes are dedicated to the first boy I ever called "boyfriend," the first boy I ever shared a real kiss with and the first boy ever to break my heart.

This cupcake recipe I found in Martha Stewart's cupcake book. It calls for 3 cups of all-purpose flour, 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder, 1 1/2 tsp. coarse salt, 1 cup (2 sticks) of room temp. butter, 12 oz. of unsweetened chocolate coarsely chopped, 3 cups of sugar, 6 large eggs (room temp) and 1 tbsp vanilla extract. (yields 24 cupcakes plus 24 hearts)

I was in the 7th grade and we had a P.E. class together. Every month when we were assigned a spot to do our stretches, I desperately prayed that I would get a spot close to his. Of course with my luck I never did. However, from where I stood, I was able to catch a few glimpses of him while we did our daily warm-ups and that was enough to get me through the day. Then of course in my head I meticulously timed and mapped out routes to my classes to increase my chances of running into him in the hallways.

I didn't have a clue if this guy noticed me. Our exchanges were limited and no one in the world knew that I was pining for him.

He had dark stringy hair that went down to his eyes and was often parted in the middle. He was thin, average height -- think of a typical Asian kid. He occasionally wore glasses. His daily wardrobe consisted of pants that were five times larger than his size and some type of oversized sports jersey. My heart would melt every time I saw him swagger down the hall wearing a football jersey so big that it draped down to his knees. I was nonchalant on the outside, but every ounce of me inside swooned.

To make the cupcakes, spray pans with non-stick spray. In a mixing bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt. Heat butter and chocolate in a microwave stirring occasionally, then add sugar. With an electric mixer on med-high, whisk until mixture is smooth. Add eggs one at a time. Add vanilla and beat for 3 more minutes. Reduce speed to low then gradually add two thirds of the flour mixture, beat until combined. Remove from mixture and add rest of the flour by folding it in by hand. Smooth tops after putting mixture into the cupcake molds. Bake cupcakes for 17 min. (rotate halfway through), and bake the square pan for 25 min. Let cool.

One morning, God took pity on me and answered my plea. While we were waiting for the bell to ring, this girl who he is friends with approached me and asked me "What is your opinion of him?" I was so taken aback by that question that I couldn't find the right words to answer. The question was so odd. Then I see from a distance, he is intently watching us talk! Blood suddenly rushed to my head and it's as if I could feel my face turn bright pink. She then said, "Well, he likes you and wants to know if you'll go out with him." At the time "going out" of course meant automatically being boyfriend and girlfriend not actually physically going out on a date. I thought, be cool, don't be a dork and start giggling. I calmly replied, "Umm, sure." She walked back over to him and relayed the message and I saw that he was pleased! I was walking on clouds. The bell rang and we all dismissed for class. I did not see him the rest of the day. He called me later that night.

To make fluffy vanilla frosting, use 3 sticks of butter (room temp), 4 cups of powdered sugar and 1/2 tsp. of vanilla extract. With an electric mixer beat butter until creamy, add sugar half a cup at a time. Then increase speed for 10 seconds to aerate frosting, then return to medium speed. This process should take 5 minutes. Frosting should be pale and fluffy. Add vanilla and some red food dye and beat until frosting is smooth.

To our friends, we made a great looking couple because we both literally dressed alike. I was going through my phase of dressing like a boy. I too wore very baggy pants and my older brother's sports jersey's to school. For some reason the boys I went to junior high with were attracted to girls who wore clothes they could borrow. It must be early indications of narcissism that fully develops when they become full grown men. I can imagine for a junior high boy, it would take up some courage to start hanging out with your girlfriend instead of your buddies during passing periods. We would hold hands and kiss before classes and after school. That was our routine. We did that for two months and it all came to an abrupt end. I hadn't seen him in school for a while, he was indifferent towards me and he was short with me on the phone. So, much like the way our relationship began with a message from his friend, our relationship ended with a message from his friend telling me he wanted to break up. I was shocked and devastated but I don't think I cried. To be honest, I cannot remember the reason he gave for the break up, but I think he transferred schools a couple of months later and I never saw or heard from him again.

Brian, these cupcakes are for you wherever you may be.

Chances are he's probably happily married with kids, but instead I'm going to think he's either miserable and alone or in jail. No. I'm not bitter about a silly junior high romance. Not bitter at all.

Use heart shaped cookie cutters on the sheet of brownies and place on top of the frosted cupcakes.
(I used a mini heart shaped cookie cutter and make sure the brownies are cool before adding the buttercream frosting because it will melt. If  you use semi-sweet chocolates, use less butter and sugar for the frosting as the cupcake will become too sweet.)

I fed my Brady bunch family these cupcakes and they were a hit. Of course my oldest sister teased and asked if I was going to blog about them. I said of course. She's such a hater.