I tried to have my (cup)cake and eat it too (PB&J Cupcakes)

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches. A staple in every American family -- except mine. I had my very first ever PB&J at the age of 22. These are PB&J cupcakes. They're the best of both worlds (in regards to flavor) for me: sweet and salty.

I am the daughter of a Preacher man. My dad has been a pastor for about 20 years. You could imagine that a strict Christian household would be filled with rules of "Thou shalt not." Add Filipino immigrant parents (and children including myself) to the mix and you get rules of "Thou shalt not, or you'll end up like these bad American kids." That is the household in which I was raised. My parents were appalled at how my classmates behaved. Corporal punishment was not allowed in school, kids were allowed to wander around the classroom and students would talk back to their teachers. To my parents, this was the type of behavior and environment conducive to the makings of a future gang banger, prostitute and probably even a terrorist. Filipino schools were very regimented, almost militant. Students were to raise their hands a certain way, never talk back to their teachers and corporal and unusual forms of punishment was welcomed. I remember in first grade at the Good Shepherd Christian School in Manila, my teacher punished the class by making us stand with both arms stretched out in front of us. We did this for a long period of time as we struggled to keep our little 6-year-old arms afloat.

The ingredients for a PB&J cupcake are: 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, 1/4 tsp. baking soda, 3/4 tsp. of baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 1/2 sticks of unsalted butter, 1 1/3 cups sugar, 2/3 cup of creamy peanut butter, 3 large eggs, 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract, 1/2 cup sour cream, 1/2 cup strawberry jelly or jam

Despite my parents' best efforts to keep what they deemed was American culture and evil worldly things from infiltrating my soul, by the time I was in the 7th grade, I had become a full-blown terror to my parents. I'll save my junior high years for another post. For now, I'll share certain events that are tell-tale signs of how my adolescent life would spiral toward a of world sneaking around, so to speak. It all began with 90210 and Color Me Bad.

Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees F. Meanwhile, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. With an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until it's pale and fluffy. Reduce the speed of the mixer to low and mix in peanut butter. Add the eggs one at a time. Mix in vanilla and gradually add the flour mixture. Add the sour cream and peanuts (optional). 

When the show Beverly Hills 90210 first came out, I was completely seduced by Dylan, Brandon, Steve, Brenda, Donna, Kelly, David.. but umm.. maybe not Andrea (let's face it, she was way too old and way too poor to be a student at West Bevery High). If you are under the age of 25, I'm not talking about the current 90210 that's on the CW. That show pales in comparison to the original. I was only in elementary school when 90210 first came out but I loved it. I may not have gotten a lot of the references or innuendos but I was intrigued by rich high school kids involved in love triangles, drugs and scandals. Unfortunately for me, my mom had suddenly decided to watch an episode or two and saw that Brenda was sleeping with Dylan, then Dylan was sleeping with Kelly, Kelly sleeping with Steve or Brandon and Andrea sleeping with no one and so forth. She said something to effect that these kids were like prostitutes and that I was NEVER to watch this show EVER AGAIN. I was crushed. I didn't watch the show for a while, until my parents made the mistake of trusting me with a TV in my room. I figured, hey they gave me a TV, they must want me to watch it! So, watch it I did. I sat close to the TV because I had to turn down the volume so no one would know that I was watching contraband. It was thrilling! I got to watch Donna Martin graduate.

Fill the cupcake tins about two-thirds of the way and cook for 22 minutes rotating half way. The cupcakes are extra light an fluffy when they're just out of the oven. Let cool


To make the Creamy PB frosting, you'll need 6 oz. cream cheese (room temp.), 1/3 cup of powder sugar, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 cup creamy PB, 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract and 1/2 cup heavy cream.

In the early 90s, I got most of my music by taping songs off the radio. My parents at the time disapproved of us listening to secular music, so, I didn't have any albums. Fortunately for me, cassette tapes were still around. My stereo was always loaded with a blank cassette tape ready just in case my favorite song was on the radio. I had amassed a collection of R&B, hip-hop and pop hits. On this one particular cassette, I had songs from Tevin Campbell (and for those of you too young to know who that is, he was like the Jutin Bieber of the early 90s; young, boyish good looks and a voice often mistaken for a girl), Boyz II Men, Salt N Peppa and Color Me Bad.

One day, my mom decided to listen to my stereo. When she hit play, blaring out the speakers was Color Me Bad singing the words "I wanna sex you up, tick tock you don't stop." My mom was furious and said that someone my age should not be listening to poison. No, not poison the band or the Bel Biv Devoe song -- poison like arsenic for my soul. She then took the tape, and her hands -- her soft, loving, warm hands that have nurtured me from birth -- transformed into the jaws of life and split the cassette tape in half! Just when I thought the worst was over, she demanded, "Where's the rest of your tapes?" That's right. She took away all of my cassette tapes that I had spent hours and hours waiting for the DJ to play on the radio. Like a tornado, she tore through my room searching for my tapes and she didn't stop there. She then went into my older brother's room and took his too! Needless to say, my brother was very very pissed at me and I think I got a pretty good punch from him on my shoulder. I. Was. Devastated.

A couple of months later, I found my tapes under boxes in the garage and snuck them back into my room. I hid them well and only listened in headphones or when my parents weren't around. I was careful not to start belching out lyrics like "Ahh, push it, push it real good!" when they were around.

So, at the age of about 10, I knew that I had to make a change in my life. I had to start getting better at hiding things from my parents.

For the PB frosting, with an electric mixer, beat cream cheese and powder sugar until pale and fluffy. Add salt and PB and beat to combine. Add vanilla. In another bowl, with an electric mixer, whisk cream until medium-stiff peak forms. Fold into PB mixture. 


When frosting the cupcake, leave a well in the middle for jam or jelly.

This was the only photo I got using my cell phone. I forgot my handy dandy camera. This doesn't look good, but it was delish. Sarah D. helped with the cupcakes and so did Molly. We made two other types of cupcakes, but I didn't get a picture. We buy our way into our co-workers hearts by serving them cupcakes.

P.S. Over the years my parents became a little less strict and I didn't have to hide so much anymore. I turned out to be a model citizen. I recycle, reduce and reuse. I shower everyday and I occassionally open the door for old people.