The Possibly Short-lived eHarmony project

I said this blog would contain the occasional non-sense. This post would be it.

At the risk of sounding completely pathetic, I am going to say that I somewhat miss school only so I have something to fill the evenings with other than being idle. Being idle is dangerous for me. When I get bored and the usual TV, reading or goofing off on the internet doesn't hold my interest, I end up going on a shopping spree, cooking and making a mess or start never-ending projects. Last night, instead of doing the usual, I chose to fill out an eHarmony questionnaire.

That's right folks. I signed up for eHarmony -- well, sort of.

I answered all the tedious questions (about 100 of them) but I haven't paid for the service. It cost about $130 for 3 months. I have to carefully consider the pros and cons before I spend my money. That $130 can go toward a dress from my favorite store or towards unnecessarily expensive food like a $50 bottle of aged balsamic vinegar, cheese or wine at Whole Foods. Clearly, it's a tough choice.

Here are some of my favorite questions from the daunting eHarm questionnaire:

Agree/disagree questions (from a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree):
14. ) "I prefer not to be around people who have mood swings." Now, who in the world would want to be around someone with mood swings? If guys answer strongly agree, does that mean they won't get any women as matches?

15.) "Knowing that my partner is usually to blame when things go wrong." I don't see anything wrong with that, do you?

Select words that describe your mood the past month:
20.) "Plotted against." I think the person who chooses this as a mood has much bigger problems than not being able to find a date. I sometimes am paranoid about people breaking into my house and suffocating me with a sock, but this is just Nixon-level paranoia I can't handle.

True or False Questions:
"I like some people because they are popular with others." Obviously, I answered false given that I am friends with all of you people. Otherwise I'd be hanging out with Brangelina.

"I am sometimes tempted to make fun of people behind their backs." Only sometimes?! How about all the time behind their backs AND to their face.

I truly believe that you cannot fully gauge one's "personality" using a series of likert scales and True/False questions. The questionnaire did have few options where you can write out an answer. For instance:

• Interests: 
• Live music (concerts, music festivals, shows, etc.)
• Culinary adventures (trying new foods or trying to cook new foods)
• Wandering aimlessly
• Getting lost in a good book
• Engaging in riveting discussions about pop culture and TV shows like Project Runway and politics.
• Making fun of Facebook status updates

I also added this bit:
I am open to developing more interests as long as

• a.) they don't get me killed 
• b.) does not involve me having to get naked in public
• c.) does not involve Celine Dion.

I have uploaded a couple of pictures trying to make a montage, if you will, that is representative of who I am. Taking the advice of my friend Sarah from her "Tips for Using eHarmony" blog, I posted a couple of pics of me doing different things (well at least at different settings). Here they are. Right off the bat I have to apologize that you have see my mug so many times in this post! I know I get sick of looking at it myself. It helps if you don't stare too long.

  

The first picture is my main picture. I figured I used this one because I'm doing the "Real Housewives of (insert city name)" pose and really that's my goal in life. The second shows me in NYC and shows that I am for peace and the third is me wearing a superhero mask.

 

The left picture is to emphasize my love for live music festivals and music (I'm wearing the Coachella bracelet pass) and the second one is to show that I care about kids as I am helping lay down bark at a local playground.

This last picture I uploaded as a joke because in my head, this is how I look whenever I eat a sticky rib. This is Padma Lakshmi, host of Top Chef. Unfortunately, eHarm wouldn't let me post it -- those jerks have no sense of humor.

My friend Julie, who is single and fabulous living in Los Angeles, asked why I had the sudden interest in eHarmony. She asked if it's because I want to date or write about it? The answer is both I guess. Also, it's because I'm curious, I'm bored and I think it could be fun. I love meeting new people. Dating would be nice, but I honestly don't want to end up being that couple who talks about how they met on eHarmony like they do on those cheesy commercials. Call me old fashioned. Call me close-minded. Call me cynical. Do I think I'll meet "the one" on here? Absolutely not, but I sure as hell hope I'll get some great stories and great laughs from the experience (if I decide to go on with it).

DEVELOPMENTS SINCE I CREATED A PROFILE

There has been some new developments since I filled out my questionnaire that may kill project eHarm. Today, I received an email saying they have two matches for me (keep in mind I haven't paid for the subscription yet). One of them I thought for sure I knew. This is my greatest fear about online dating and why I have been so resistant to it -- getting matched with someone I already know. The absolute worst would be getting matched with someone whom I went to high school with. Perhaps if I lived in a larger city like New York or San Francisco I wouldn't be as resistant, but I grew up in Sacramento and that increases the odds of getting matched with someone from my past and present.

Here is short description about the guy I thought I knew: 

"I feel I'm passionate about everything I do. I'm passionate for my family and friends, as well as for my work and education. In terms of my work, I have a tremendous amount of passion for assisting students. Personally, I have a great passion for life's experiences"

So... I think he's trying to tell us that he's a "passionate" guy. 

I don't think he is who I think he is, but that possibility alone has freaked me out enough to want to kill project eHarm.

There was another guy they matched me with and he seems interesting. The last book he read was Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle which is on my summer reading list. I doubt these matches will contact me given that I haven't paid for the subscription (so I can't see pictures of them) and that my profile is only 25% complete.

Stay tuned.