Thursday, March 31, 2011

Surviving Coachella

In about 15 days I will soon be surrounded by thin, fresh faced, tanned, beautiful, super hip and super annoying young people -- thousands of them... but I am still excited about seeing the bands.

(This is a photo I took last year on my way to Coachella)

If you're going to Coachella here are some survival tips. These tips are especially those for the age of 25 and up.

Surviving Coachella:

1.) Bring a lot of cash.
2.) Bring a lot of sunscreen.
3.) Bring a lot of hand sanitizer. The porter potties at Coachella do not have water and soap, only foam hand sanitizer. Having your own hand sanitizer to use before you eat will make you less grossed out and will save you a trip from going to the porter potty section.
4.) Bring a hat with a large rim. No matter how old or touristy you think you look, your face will thank you for not having a sunglasses tan.
5.) Don't try to push your way to the stage. You do not want to get in an elbow match with 20 year old boys.
6.) Coachella is amazing when the sun sets so remember that when you feel huge regret while standing under the scorching sun in the 120 degree heat.

Surviving the Crowd:
You will be surrounded by extremely good looking kids who are practically naked. When you begin to feel insecure and un-hip just remember the following:
1.) They are young and stupid, you are older and wiser.
2.) They will get a horrible orange tan and possibly skin cancer from showing too much skin.
3.) You have more money than they do because you have a job, which means you can afford to buy dozens of $3.00 cold bottle waters while they stand in the long line for free water from a drinking fountain. I encourage you to rub this in their face as much as possible.
4.) If you were bringing pot, you'd have better quality pot than they do why? Because you have more money.
5.) When one of the bands does a cover of a Bob Dylan or Guns N Roses song, you will actually know where the song originated and they won't. (Although, that might annoy me)
6.) Try to find a spot where there are people your age and chill there for a bit because it will make you feel normal and sane again.
7.) Remember that you are there because you LOVE live music and amazing performances that are not captured on CD's are what you live for.


  1. I thought it was "porta potty."

  2. yes. yes it is porta potty. it's hard to know the proper name for a box that holds peoples' feces.

  3. We used to call it a B&B because that's what was always written on side of them in my hometown. I guess it was a company name. Anyway, we always laughed because it was a Bed & Breakfast. Nasty.

  4. i would give ANYTHING to go.. :( you lucky!