I recently reached a milestone -- the big three-oh. Thirty came quietly
without too many bells and whistles. I looked forward to turning 30 and now
that I have officially been 30-years-old for seven days I must say I feel
different both physically and mentally. I am 5 lbs. heavier (ok, maybe that
weight gain didn’t happen overnight but I’m going to blame age) and I suddenly
feel a little more anxious that “time is ticking.” In my 20s (just a few days
ago) I could use the excuse that I am young and could take my sweet time to
figure out what to do with my life. I had all the time in the world to become
financially responsible, make more money and find a man to shack up with and
push out babies. While I am in no rush or feel this burning desire to bare
children, I am bothered by the fact that my ovaries are drying up. I don’t know
the exact age when a woman’s ovaries start to dry up but when I went to Google
it, at the top of my search results was a YouTube video titled, “Sarah, Your
Ovaries are Drying Up.”
I think the Internet hates me. I am a little weirded
out but I can’t help but be impressed. Watch the music video here.
Keeping with the “I’m-going-to-use-turning-30-as-an-excuse” for
everything, I also semi signed up for match.com. I say semi because I didn’t
actually create a profile. Perhaps it’s that feeling of time ticking or just a sick twisted desire to put myself in awkward situations, or maybe get a few good stories or the prospect of actually meeting some decent guys (who want to pamper and worship me of course), urged me to visit
the website for the first time ever in my life. I wanted to see what it had to
offer. Like all dating sites, you have to sign up to browse the
goods, so I did. I signed up, I browsed and I must admit I liked some of what I
saw. I think it will take plenty of beers on a self-loathing lonely night to get me
to fork up the money to fully commit to a profile. I may have a few of those coming up, who knows, I'm 30 now!
If you recall, I tried online dating and that didn’t work out so well,
as in I didn’t even make to physically talking to someone and it turns out that
there are more weirdos (as in living in mom’s basement) than there are normal
people on the Internet.
Sarah, lovely to meet you. I'd like to introduce myself as one of the creators of the video you discovered. It was part of a show we put on for the Minnesota Fringe Festival back in 2009 (when you were spry 27 years old). It's about the pressure our main character Sarah felt to reproduce now that she was in her 30s; most of that pressure being put on by her ovaries themselves (played by the two who are singing in the video). It was a hit I think mainly because it was relatable. After reading through your post, I have to say I think we're leading the same life. Though I'm a couple years younger than you (28 to be exact), I'm feeling just as you are with my married friends brainstorming about single guys they can set me up with. I've even sunk a few degrees lower than you and set up a fully functioning OkCupid profile. I was drunk when I did it. I think you have to be.
ReplyDeleteJust remember: you're not alone. Especially because your ovaries haven't dried up yet. :)
Thanks! I really enjoyed your musical and I'm glad google found it for me. Good luck on OkCupid. Hope you find someone to share the rent who wants to be more than friends.
DeleteThis is awesome! They even spelled your name right!
ReplyDeleteWhen I turned 30 Molly sang me the song about my ovaries drying up.