why i decided to stop Hatin'

I’ve decided I’m going to stop being a “Social Media People Hater.” That means I’m going to stop hating on what people post and write on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Once upon a time I loved hating what people did on Facebook (read here, here and here). I was a Hater with a capital H. I even hate read people on the web for whatever unhealthy reason (like why is every single photo of you making a funny face? Why do you hashtag #every #single #word? Why are you always telling lies?). Unfortunately it has taken me a very long time to realize this: When I’m upset or annoyed with someone’s social media feed will my being annoyed stop that person from being annoying? No. Will my being annoyed affect that person in a way I hope it would (like as in make them feel ashamed of their posts)? No. That person will just go about his or her day constantly complaining about their life, update every hour on their activities and whereabouts, post a million photos of themselves in front of a mirror, write annoying motivational quotes and try to speak of politics when they don’t know what they are talking about. So, while these people are doing this—and having a great time doing it—I am sitting in front of my computer annoyed and having to control myself from writing rude comments. Well my friends, those days are over. Why give someone on the Internet of all places the power to annoy me? Also, it was kind of sobering when I realized that most of my complaints about people on the web were about people who complained all the time and that was the very thing I was doing except in real life. Anyway, as it turns out you can easily hide people from your newsfeed… now if it were only that easy to get rid of people we found annoying in real life…




People probably complain about me on Facebook….. Nah, who am I kidding. I’m sure everyone finds my posts about food and feet/shoe photos profound.

how to avoid writing something mean on someone's facebook status update

I'm sure we all  have friends on Facebook whose status updates annoy us. Most of the time we have enough self-control to brush it off. We say UGH, roll our eyes and move on, but sometimes some people are just begging for a mean smart-ass comment and sometimes you're just in the right mood to be a bitch. Whoever it is that annoys you on your page (why they are your FB friends to begin with is a whole other topic), whether they post too many photos of themselves or their pets, post too many inspirational quotes, brag about exercising, brag about all the sex they're having, etc. In order to resist the urge to comment, call a friend instead and talk about the mean things you want to write like, "You should probably stop talking about how much you love going to the gym every day because people will start to wonder why it's not working" or "How do you get to travel so much without having a job?" Get it out of your system this way. I've been known to write a thing or two on people's page, delete, then have to apologize for it later. So, I've found the key is to have a buddy to call like a Sponsor if you will-- when the strings of smart-ass-ness and meanness start to tug at you.

How do you avoid making these comments?


Next on my series on Social Media: People We Love to Hate-Read

the consequence of social networking

We are at this stage in the history of the world where we are saturated with information like never before. We share a lot of information and we are bombarded with a lot of information about everything -- from breaking news in Sudan to what our friends are up to, who they are hanging out with and what music they're listening to. I fully participate in all of this. I am on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and this blog and I use them all regularly. In the last couple of months I attempted to quit Facebook but failed at it. I have also written several blog posts about the perils of social networking. I am sure I am not the only person who wishes they could quit and to not “need to know” but information is alluring – it is addicting and so is the need to share. For me, 99.9% of the things I share via social network I want someone to read and comment because it makes me feel a little more important that someone has acknowledged me. Sadly, even that little thumbs up “like” button can be satisfying enough-- and that is what keeps me coming back for more. I like getting attention this way. I have enjoyed it for as long as I have had a Facebook account, which is about 4 years. It is crazy to think about what life was like without Facebook (or Youtube, twitter or blogs). However, just like with all types of attention or fame, there are consequences.

The lack of anonymity and mystery

What I mean by this is that everyone you know becomes your friend or follower you start to feel restrained because you begin to think about what your “friends” or followers might think about what you post. I’m sure I have talked about this before. Most—if not all—of us care about what others think of us. We care about what our real life friends, our family and our colleagues think of us and they all can see our social network profile. Every word we write will always be taken to mean more because they know about your life outside of the Internet. I do the same with other people. I would love it if I had a lot of readers of this blog, but only if they are people I don’t know—people who do not know anything about my past, what I’m currently doing or what I’m like in real life.

Mistaken meanings

We’ve all heard stories about Tweets of celebrity deaths that were not true. I’m not talking about miss-information here but more so tone and context. Everything we write on Facebook, Twitter or sometimes a blog is always part of a larger context and I think we forget that. We read something and we make assumptions about it. I do that all the time. I read someone’s post about how they’re having a bad day I assume that it must have something to do with what that person posted earlier about having a terrible boss. This is a fair assumption but I have to remember there is a good possibility I could be wrong. We only get a snippet of something much larger and at least for me, some of the things I write I’ve written in haste because of some emotional break down. This is a problem because we may not realize the affect that could have on other people and often times we don’t really mean what we say in the heat of the moment.

Obsessive behavior

This is pretty self-explanatory. I have become obsessed with sharing (checking in, taking photos, etc.) and I have become obsessed with knowing what other people are up to. This is partly due to the “living vicariously” aspect. We see normal people –not celebrities, whose lives are more exciting and we become obsessed with their lives. All I know is that any obsessive behavior can’t be good.

The Dilemma

I have an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with the social network. It needs me (and you) to survive and I have come to need it for some sort of fulfillment. I will always be an advocate for information and knowledge. To suggest we stop using social networks would be like asking people to go back to the Stone Age. Lately I have found myself more and more conflicted. I’m afraid that some of the things I write or have written may have been misinterpreted and vice versa. Is that something that I just need to accept because that is the risk we take when participating in social networking? Do I share less, blog less, blog less personal things? But I would really hate to be censored that way, although I already feel that way now. I don’t know. I don’t have an answer. 

I'm going to punch you in the face. *raises threatening fist*

Facebook and people's behavior on social networking sites never ceases to fascinate me. I want to discuss this strange form of communication that I have recently observed. Maybe I'm the only who finds it fascinating, but I'll tell you anyway. People are describing their physical reaction on their status updates as if we (the readers) need the description in order to fully understand the meaning of the post. I understand why people would want to attempt to describe their physical reactions and actions because tone can be difficult to read in a status update or tweet. I have had experiences where my sarcasm is not always read on Facebook and it did not end well. 

Perhaps you have come across this yourself. The description is written after or in between asterisks (*). For example, one would write, "I can't believe my boyfriend just kicked a puppy, *gasp*" or "omg. this club is lame and some lame guy is trying to hit on me *rolls eyes*" or "I'm so mad *stomps foot*." You get the point.

The language on social networking sites (particularly Facebook) is constantly being developed and built upon. Who comes up this stuff? Who decided that initialisms like ROFL (Rolling on the Floor Laughing) or SMH (Shaking my Head) should be used? Slang words are usually conceived by rappers, but who conceives Facebook lingo? Who decided that we should describe our physical actions in-between asterisks? I understand the occasional *sigh* or *grrrr* but add that to emoticons and initialisms and what we have is an entirely new language. The thing about language is that it is much more than just a set of words with definitions. Language carries a history and an entire culture and we use language to communicate and exchange knowledge. I am a big believer in that there should never be a set body of knowledge. Knowledge should constantly be challenged, changed and built upon and I guess one could argue that initialisms and asterisks on Facebook can be seen as contributing to the current body of knowledge. I find that a little disconcerting. We are throwing away full sentences and phrases and we are using silly descriptions like *smiles* and *hugs* to mimic face-to-face interaction without the intimacy of physically interacting with a human being. Mimicry is superficial and if we choose to only communicate on social networking sites, I believe that those relationships therefore, are superficial. 

As a student of Communication, I cannot help but wonder what linguists like Ferdinand de Saussure or Roland Barthes would say about how we currently communicate on Facebook. Perhaps it would look something like this:

"OMG. I can't believe how people communicate on here. It makes me so mad *grinds teeth.* People keep coming up with new acronyms and initialisms I am so confused @_@. Also, why do people feel like they need to tell me when they are hungry or sleepy? I don't care *rolls eyes.* I fear for the well-being of society because these are our future leaders. SMH. That is it. I'm quitting #facebook :P."

(P.S. This post is the result of too much caffeine and too much Facebooking.)